I may be 19...But what does that mean

Okay so I may seem like I need to be taken care of... But I don't. I can do things on my own. I don't need to be told what to do...Just sometimes I need guidance...Thats why we all need accountability partners. Mine just happens to be 3 hours away and I haven't talked to her in awhile. What do you think I did for the first like what 18 or 19 years of my life. I don't know why this bothers me. It doesn't really bother me too much, it's just the fact that I think they think that like I'm this needy 'kid'. What would the relationship be like if I didn't 'have to be taken care of'. I'm so Independent. I guess I'm just not use to being treated like this. Well, I am, but I've never felt like this about it. I love this person so much, so I don't know if I'm just upset about something else. Mabes they just haven't seen the other side of me. Mabes it is time for me to get taken care of....I didn't have that growing up. I had to grow up fast, maybe this is like my next chance to Childhood. Ew. Don't want it. My sister took care of me... mabes its cuz I don't really have that relationship with her/ relationship period. I don't know why I'm complaining. I hate that. Uh. I just uh. I don't know. I'm more than skin deep. Mabes I need to express more of who I am inside. Maybe she just needs to learn more about Ajay. About I guess well this is corny but my roots. What I am about. What I Love. How I perceive Love. My emotions. What life is like beyond what is seen. Ew now I sound like some depressed teenager (which I'm not) This is like going back to Freshman year of HS. lol. I was messed up then though...so lets not go there. haha

So called my dad today... Told him about probs helping coach at Von...Ps-LOVE! Like I'm a real easy person to make happy...But like thinking about helping those kids out... beats just about everything. Hands down! My dad knows that 2. So then he's like we got a letter today about a scholarship you applied for. 50o bones! Got it! God is so good. And what's even better- North Park is supposed to match it. yeah thats right 1,000 bones. And that could double my Sr. year. So great.
Like honestly I know I do not deserve this one bit- but my family does. And I love them so much. I pray that they are blessed beyond way's they cannot even Imagine. I pray that you give them the things in their hearts that they desire b/c of the faith towards you they have shown.

Oh also tonight- I found out I'm no longer insured until I'm 25 with my mom...B.c of this retirement thing she just took. But I'm like not even insured at all right now. So I have to like look into that here at the school or something. I don't know. It's kind of annoying. This whole retirement thing is, I don't know it just seems odd to me. But whatev.