Is it because I'm afraid?

So I just realized just a second ago...Now unraveling and thinking about what I just talked about for like 3 hours. I am scared. I am scared when I make new friends. I realized this cuz I'm so emotional about it right now while thinking about it. I have these friends that I have been so close to for so long, that I don't worry about loosing them. And well I do loose friends easily, and I dont know why. It doesn't bother me much at all. But those people weren't like real close to me. I feel like now, I'm just so scared to what is going to happen between some people, or a person and I that I just don't know what to think about it. And I know to trust in God in every situation...and I trust him completely with whatever he does in my life; but I tend to put this note in the back of my head...and some people have heard me say it... that okay; I'm close to this person now, and it's great...I can like be really close to them lets say forever... but I also allow myself to be okay...not okay...but I convince myself that it's not going to last long. This is just for now. Which is fine too, sometimes God brings people in and out of our lives because we only need them for that moment in our lives.... But why do I think that with this situation... I think this is the first time I have been scared about this. Mabes cuz it's true and real. but the others weren't then? no I think that they were 2. So what makes this different? Why am I feeling this about this whole situation? I never think like this... or process things like this.