Thoughts and Confusion...Mixed with Desire

I think that I am homesick... But I'm not sure. haha. There are just a few people that I really want a hug from that are back home. Or not here. I feel so needy right now. Ew... It's weird. I'm not a very needy person. Now I feel like I'm whining. I'm not though! lol. Uh there is just so much going on inside of my head and heart right now that I just don't know what to do with it besides Hug someone. Weird. But I think thats how I feel. Comfort. Dinner with Mom and Dad. Laying in the grass with my Dog. A ten minute hug with Dink. A catch up with Cot. Uh so many things.
My emotions in the past 24 hours I can't even describe them, because I don't know what they are. Feelings comming back that I had before. I don't need this. It's not going to work. There are things that don't work between us. There are things that I have realized since June. Those things should make a difference. Why does talking again all of a sudden start changing how I feel. AJay remember why I lost interest. I just need to keep reminding myself that. Why is it so easy to go back? He knows me so well. He reads me like a book. He knows that I'm not okay with this but he also knows the things that I need to hear. But I don't want to hear them from him; I want them to come from somewhere else.
I want to hug my Dad so bad right now. He knows what I want. Why are my dreams so out of control? Why is my heart in so many places? And why are the places that my heart is at so far away? and not here?
*Rely on the Strength of the Lord*