For yourself

I feel like I have lost so much respect for myself. It seems that to most people probably that I have so much respect for myself. But when I see myself I don't see self respect. People respect me more then I do myself. And I don't know why. I don't understand why I let myself do this stuff. I have allowed myself to fall back into this... I tried so hard to get out; and I was good. Then here we go again. I wasn't even thinking. And it's a bad situation thats probs gonna cause some drama...and well I don't do drama. So this will be interesting. Uh. I guess this is all part of growing up...

I realized tonight that I only look at the bad things that I do as a person. When I think of all the things that I do; I think of all the things that I do wrong....Everytime I fall short....fall way short- that's what I look at. And I realized this cuz Meghan always points out the good in me and tells me not to look at the bad stuff. It's over and I can't do anything about it. And I know that- We learn from our mistakes and we become a better person...and we wouldn't be that person if we didn't go through those things. But still those are the things that I think about. And I don't know why. I do good things. lol. I hope so.