What is Convenient....

People handle things differently from e/o. and the way that some people handle things really makes me scratch my head and wonder where is the Love in that..Or where is the anything for that matter in that. And really what is the point of that... God is really teaching me a lot everyday...but these things not so much. But I know that all I can do is pray...and question....and wonder. Was this Convenience...or Real. What is it that I have that isn't convenient...that seems like the real question. Every relationship that we have is convenient....We don't need any of these people or things....And we know that...Lauren is convenient for me...SuAnne is convenient for me...Derek is convenient for me...Leann is convenient for me...Meghan is convenient for me...Lorie is convenient for me...My father is convenient for me...and the list goes on...You get the point. The difference is-how convenient are these people for you. Some are more convenient to me than others. Some really aren't convenient at all...but they are there-So their convenience 'level' is not as high as others. The only thing that you may call 'Real' in my life well is the Godhead 3 in 1. And that is all I need. This thing that is 'Real' in my life though provides all of these conveniences. And he provides me with the opportunity...he doesn't make the convenient level for me....he provides me the Opportunity to use these people at my own convenience....and I thank him for blessing me with that...But I'm really bad at it....because the people that are what I guess I would call 'more' convenient I do not show them that they are. And I'm really sorry about that. 'Delight your self in the Lord; and he will grant the Desires of your heart.'-Psalm 37:4
Thank you for that.....

*Love....I struggle with it...I struggle with it alot. I know that I have to Love...and that is the greatest commandment from God....But it's the hardest for me...What is Love....I know what Love is.....How do I show that Love to other people. How do I show that Love to the people that are convenient in my life....cuz well I'm bad at it....And I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry for not showing you the Love that you deserve from me. I'm sorry for that person that we both know that I am not with you...and I'm sorry that you do not know who that person is...and maybe you do know who that person is..b/c well I don't know what you know--or who you are--or who you are trying to be--But I appologize that I do not show you the Love that you need from me..I'm not that convenient for you....and I guess that's okay...People have different levels of this thing we call convenience...and I don't know your Love language...That is something that I have been studying about people lately...and it's really interesting...and it will help me...but I don't really know what to think...and I don't know what to say to you... I just know that I miss you a lot...and that I'm sorry for what I did...and the person that I allowed myself to be....
--Show me how to Love...Teach me...'I can't-You must-...show me the way!'


I'm really excited to continue coaching the Von team...I learned a lot this year...and I know what I need to do differently...and I'm a different person so I will have to see how that goes in that atmosphere...I'm sure it will be fine-and I know God will be right there with me...providing me the strength to rely on his teaching and wisdom....So great.
I hope that Zury's summer with her father in Mexico goes well. She's scared...I pray that you give her comfort!
All those girls are on my heart right now...Thanks for everyone of them...they have all taught me so much