I have so many things on my mind...so many things I want to say...But they won't make it on here...

Tonight we went to a friends for the Fireworks...It was alot of fun. And Great food...and well I Love food. That's for sure! lol

This thing that we do on Wednesday nights... I don't know--I think we need to do something different...This last week was so good because we did do something different. When I pictured doing these tables I was thinking maybe like every other week or something.. I mean we can change it...Maybe this week tables...and next week another video...maybe a Nooma video...But I don't know how I feel about those somethimes...But in Washington it would prolly go well. We will see I guess. I will keep praying about it. I hate expectations. I hate that all of these people that come expect so much sometimes... If they want something different....TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT! I don't really care if we don't do tables. It isn't like not doing tables is going to hurt my feelings. lol. I really don't care... I just brought an Idea and thought we could try it a few times. I am open to whatever. I do know that the Holy Spirit shows up every week...and that's what we have to continue to ask for.

Relying on God's strength in everything...all of the time is so hard. Sometimes I don't even think about 'oh maybe I can't do this.' Well right now I can tell you that I know I can't do it...That I have to rely on the greatest strength of all to do anything. But it is so much harder to do than say it. Cuz well I know. haha.

I don't know what is wrong with me... I don't think that I am as fun...or funny as what I used to be...Well with Lori things seem different cuz well she is just fun....But Other than that..where is AJay. I can't even explain it...But whatever....lol
"How do I Love fully if I hold back being As is?"

I ask for Change...and I don't get change I get the opportunity to Change...and that is so much greater...