19

I don't know what to say here on this blank page. I have things to say...but how do you say them. I'm back to where I started. That can be okay though. I think I'm okay with that. I can try harder. I will. And we will see.

I just wrote him telling him how I feel. And well I don't care what he thinks. This is the first time I'm alright with it. It feels great. I feel Great. It's like a weight has been lifted off. I still have things that I need to deal with but this is no longer one of them.


Derek is back home. That excites me. This summer will be interesting. Talking about this situation with Batch the other day made me realize what is about to happen. ha. It is kind of funny to me. Derek is great. And I can't wait to just hang out and do nothing and have the best time ever...and not have to try at it at all. There is no trying with him. And if I did have to try...he is worth trying for. He's my best friend, and I love him for that.
Thanks Derek.


Infatuated....Maybe I am.... but that sounds creepy to me. I just care....and you ask why I care so much--couldn't tell you the answer to that.....do you have to have a reason to care so much. No one has ever asked why I care about Lauren so much....except Lauren...but she has the right to ask...and I have the right to give her an answer to that question...


One more week...Then things will change. Well for 2 in a half months....then we will see where that takes us.

...We will see how this last week goes